after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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