I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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