I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
