I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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