I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
