I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
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