I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
