me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
