Your face is a jimmy john
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
