You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
