My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
this beer tastes like vomit already
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
