Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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