i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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