see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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