i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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