; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
