so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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