Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
