I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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