Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
