Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
