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3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
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