Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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