Screwed.edu
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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