The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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