He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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