Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Randomize
