Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
you had me at cake vodka
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
