guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Your dad touched me again.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
