they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Operation Purity has been aborted
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
