Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
