it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
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