he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
