i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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