I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
