forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
