I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
