What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Semen is not good for contacts.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
