And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Ketchup is God's man juice
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
