Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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