my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
