I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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