So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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