i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
