why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
