and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
