you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
