i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
