Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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