When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
