I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize
