Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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