I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
