Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize