And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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