you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
