I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
