Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
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Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
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I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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