And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.