he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
