JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
