I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
