It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
