So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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