you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
